Celebrating Our Growth
A group of boys and girls are standing together in a school auditorium (礼堂). They're wearing traditional Chinese clothing, waiting for their parents to put a hat on their head or stick a hairpin in their hair.
These young people are having their coming-of-age ceremony (成人礼). This ceremony comes from an old tradition — in ancient China, girls who reached 15 and boys who reached 20 would have hair-pinning or capping ceremonies (笄礼和冠礼).
Coming of age is an important milestone (里程碑) in a person's life. It is celebrated in almost every culture.
In the United States, turning 16 is a big deal. Most teenagers get their driver's licenses at 16. Girls have “sweet 16” birthday parties when they turn 16 to celebrate coming of age. They wear fancy clothes and have a special dance with their father.
In Japan, Coming of Age Day is a national holiday that takes place on the second Monday in January. People who are 20 years old all officially come of age on this day. Girls do their hair in fancy styles, wear make-up (妆容) and put on kimonos (和服). Boys wear a man's kimono or a smart suit.
However, adulthood brings not only joy, but also more responsibilities.
In Germany, the coming-of-age ceremony is called Jugendfeier — “youth celebration”. It is more thought-provoking (引人深思) than other coming-of-age ceremonies. During this ceremony, a teacher gives a speech to young adults, talking about values such as respecting others and being responsible. It is from young adulthood on that most people are on their own to face the challenges of life.
Fears of Growing Up
It's common for kids to experience anxiety (焦虑) as they grow up. When they watch adults cope with (应对) all the stresses (压力) of life and see that one day they'll have to do the same, fears set in. Some of these fears include:
Fear of getting old. Kids might think about dying or losing their family or loved ones as they get older. When someone fears getting old, it's because they are focusing on the end of life rather than the part where they get to live.
Fear of uncertainty. Kids love dreaming about the future, about all the things they could do when they grow up. As they come closer to adulthood, however, they find that sometimes life doesn't go the way they want. They have no idea what future has to offer. Feeling “unsure” often causes fear.
Fear of responsibilities. As kids, they don't have to cook meals, worry about how much things cost, or make sure everyone has clean clothes for the week. Gradually they realize these things will be their responsibilities.
Fear of leaving parents. Most kid don't want to leave the comforts of home. They feel safe, secure (安全的) and taken care of with their parents. The thought of losing parents' love and care is scary.
Fear of living alone. When kids get so used to the warmth of home, the idea of moving out and living on their own causes panic (恐惧). “Can I look after myself well?” Fear floods in when the answer is “no”.
Face Problems Head On
Strawberries look nice and fresh. But a light squeeze (挤压) can make them out of shape. Nowadays, many young people are just like strawberries. They easily break down in face of difficulties. They have a common name — “strawberry kids”.
Wang Xueqin, 14, from Anhui, may be one of them. She was a top student in Junior 1. But now she hates going to school.
“I'm no longer No. 1 in class,” she said. And she found it hard to accept (接受).
Why are students like Wang so easy to get down? Parents and schools are a big reason behind it. Parents do almost everything for them in their daily life, while schools care more about their grades than developing their personality.
Liu Yue, 13, from Fujian said his mom seldom criticized (批评) him and he felt good about himself. “So when a teacher criticized me strictly, I felt surprised and sad. I doubted (怀疑) my abilities,” he said.
Students could do something to make themselves mentally strong, said Sun Yunxiao, an education expert in Beijing.
“Instead of asking for help too quickly, try to deal with problems first by yourselves. Take part in sports and social (社会的) activities and give yourself a chance to deal with difficulties,” he said.
“Growing up is not just a happy process (过程). Pains (痛苦) also go along with it,” he added. “The most important thing is to face the pains bravely and learn from them.”