Strangers under the Same Roof?
Does every dinner with your parents seem to turn into a battle? Have your once warm and open conversations become cold and guarded? Do you feel that you just cannot see eye to eye with them on anything? You are not alone. Heated arguments and cold silences are common between teenagers and their parents.
Teenagers’ physical changes may result in such family tensions. You may feel anxious that you are developing at a different rate to your friends, shooting up in height or getting left far behind. You might worry about your changing voice, weight problems or spots. When it all gets too much, your parents are often the first targets of your anger.
Teenagers’ developing mental needs can lead to a breakdown in your relationship with your parents too. You enter a strange middle ground—no longer a child but not quite an adult. You have both a new desire for independence and a continued need for your parents’ love and support. You feel ready to be more responsible and make decisions on your own. Unfortunately, your parents do not always agree and that makes you feel unhappy. In addition, when you are struggling to deal with your strong feelings, you may get misunderstood by them―sometimes they forget that growing up is a rough ride. It can be difficult when your parents expect you to act like an adult but still treat you like a child.
Although it may seem impossible to get along as a family, you can take action to improve the situation through regular and honest communication. When you disagree with your parents, take a minute to calm down and try to understand the situation from their point of view. Perhaps they have experienced something similar and do not want you to go through the same pain. After you have thought it through, explain your actions and feelings calmly, listen carefully, and address their concerns. Through this kind of healthy discussion, you will learn when to back down and when to ask your parents to relax their control.
Just remember that it is completely normal to struggle with the stress that parent-child tensions create, and that you and your parents can work together to improve your relationship. The good news is that, with your great efforts, this stormy period will not last. Everything will turn out all right in the end, and the changes and challenges of your teenage years will prepare you for adulthood.